Loss

 Loss 

Have I always prayed for some color, 

or just vowed a thousand times 

to take the black with him ... ? 

For shame now, 

you who thought never to return ... 

There is no such thing as safety 

or an evolving future 

- the only consolation is 

that some things will 

always remain ... 

Even if you have lost him a thousand times, 

or vowed forever not to love him - again, ... 

some things can never be broken 

- and this love can never be lost. [ ] 

It does not matter 

which of them you remember, 

or which of the many you love - 

they are all of them the same 

- and for now, they are all of them gone. --- 

This place holds memories 

- it remembers them all, 

and in a quick glance at the sky, 

the view of the mountains 

- or even a street you pass - 

they all commemorate him- 

one of the many you have loved and lost ... 

it will not matter which of them 

- for all memories are precious, 

and all memory hurts ... 

When I walk under the trees, 

I remember him, 

laughing ... 

soothing, talking to me - always at my side ... 

- but this time he is not with me, 

by now he too is gone ... 

I still see myself, 

sitting at the table, - writing to him - 

did he ever receive my card? 

But I will never write for him again ... [ ] 

Or just at the lack of day, 

when the walls are whispering to me, 

I remember him ... 

even though I never brought his love to this place- 

but just the lack of color 

- any color, any where - 

will remind me of my vow

to take the black with him ... - 

Or even the look of the sky 

will remind me of the color of his eyes - as they have never been - 

which of the many? ... 

As if through some other eyes, 

enforced by some other will, 

I will then take a step back 

and look at all the loss, 

all those memories 

of every precious moment 

in this house, this place 

- lost - 

through time ... 

There is nothing that could bring them back. Only the future.

20.März 2016

copyright Lilly Lime